Travel Bug Robert
Finding the funny in the world.

I didn’t know Brazilians loved Rod Stewart that much

So I’m in Rio, right, sitting down for a little dinner with my friends at an upper scale restaurant, when all of a sudden, the restaurant starts projecting a Rod Stewart concert video.  One question immediately popped in my head:  Why?  I mean, don’t get me wrong, Rod Stewart’s a great guy.  He’s had a fantastic career and is very well preserved for his age.  But I’m eating dinner in a place with mood lighting.  I thought it was kind of assumed we wouldn’t have a concert video play in the background, Rod Stewart or otherwise.

I wasn’t eating at a sports bar, where you go there to watch TV (well, obviously I wasn’t eating at a sports bar).  I was eating at a place where a couple might go to have a romantic meal.  Is Mr. Stewart an aphrodisiac?  Is that what this was?  Does his bold red blazer and slight frame set Brazilian women’s hearts a flutter, and the manager wanted to help out the men’s chances on their dates?  That couldn’t possibly be it, because do you know how hard it is to carry a conversation when Rod Stewart is belting out hit after hit fifty feet away?  Even with the sound turned down, it’s tough.  I wanted to talk to my friends, but Rod’s stage presence kept drawing me in.  I could only imagine the difficulty of a guy on a date.  Sure, he might be with a gorgeous brunette, but that blonde stunner on screen has got the goods.

To add to the weirdness of the whole situation, they played the video between performances from a live musical duo who played traditional Brazilian music.  The restaurant went from acoustic guitar songs sung in Portuguese to Rod Stewart.  The duo returned after a while and continued playing their gentle tunes as we had dessert, but by then, it didn’t feel right eating without Rod Stewart staring down at me.  He had become a part of our group.

I can only hope the next country I visit has an equal reverence for soft rock vocalists.  Fingers crossed for Barry Manilow.

Robert Rides a Boat into Iguazu Falls

I don’t get out into nature much.  That changed when I visited the small town of Iguazu in Argentina and experienced the nearby Iguazu Falls.  I not only traveled over rough, tropical terrain, but I also got on a boat!  Big time stuff for a city boy like me.

D.C.’s Embassy Row: Where Sovereign Nations are Smaller than Lichtenstein

Walking down Embassy Row in Washington, D.C.–that aptly named area where most of the the foreign embassies are located in America’s capital–I couldn’t get past the fact these vastly different countries were next door neighbors.  Some of the embassies seriously only had a few feet separating them.  Diplomats are supposed to be, well, diplomatic, so I’m sure the close proximity to one another hasn’t caused international crises.  Diplomats are good at smoothing things over, so if Poland is blaring techno music after 10pm and annoying Chile, who’s got an early morning the next day taking the kids to soccer practice, Chile and Poland would talk it out instead of bringing the cops into it.  Although, now that I think about it, Poland has diplomatic immunity, so Poland could rock out all night if she wanted.  But Poland’s not like that.  She would turn down the music and send over a muffin basket to Chile the next day, ’cause that’s the kind of neighbor Poland is.

Some common neighbor problems are easily avoided, since each embassy undoubtedly has their own crew of groundskeepers, which helps avoid the uncomfortable scenario of Sweden yelling at Indonesia for not mowing her lawn.  But even being able to dodge landscaping arguments, it does make one ponder: if countries can live next to each other without conflict, why can’t actual next door neighbors?

Robert Visits Buenos Aires

Lots to see in Buenos Aires.  It’s a big city, and like all big cities, impossible to experience fully.  I only had a few days to spend there, but I did at least manage to make a dent in seeing the sights of Argentina’s capital.  I also ate three empanadas a day, but the way I see it, with the conversion rate, I was really only eating .71474 a day.

Whozits and Whatzits Galore at the Spanish Steps

Rome’s Spanish Steps are one of the big sights to see in the city, and I’m not sure why.  I guess they’re pretty photogenic, as far as steps go.  They’re definitely more impressive than my apartment building’s stairwell.  But they’re still just steps.  They don’t light up when you walk on them or move like Hogwarts’ staircases.  The same thing happens when you walk up the Spanish Steps as when you walk up non-Spanish Steps.  You go from one altitude to another, possibly sweating along the way.  I still liked seeing them, though, because the piazza where they are had some of the hardest selling merchants I’ve ever encountered.

All the sightseers relaxing on the steps had to continuously turn away these wandering businessmen.  These guys sold the go-to tourist trinkets.  Bouncy balls, plastic doodads that light up, noisemakers.  You know, authentic Italian merchandise.  A few stuck to selling just one item: roses.  These sellers were the most interesting to watch.  They had a whole little dance they’d do.  A merchant would give a person a rose and not charge them for it.  It would look like he was just doing it as an Italian ambassador of good will, spreading joy to all foreigners visiting his fair city.  Then, once the “customer” started walking away with the rose, the merchant would follow him, and he would either have to pay for the rose or give it back.  It’s like these guys gave people a little rose test drive for free.  ”Take that rose around the block.  See how it handles.  I know you’ll be impressed by its performance.”

I never saw anyone actually buy a rose from one of these guys, but I had to admire their work ethic.  Handing out a rose, chasing after the rose, handing out the rose again.  They were smart at targeting people, too.  They’d go for the guy with the girl on his arm.  A classic maneuver.  The guy wants to look good in front of his girl, so he buys her the rose.  I wonder how many relationships have ended over the guy handing the rose back?