I didn’t know Brazilians loved Rod Stewart that much
So I’m in Rio, right, sitting down for a little dinner with my friends at an upper scale restaurant, when all of a sudden, the restaurant starts projecting a Rod Stewart concert video. One question immediately popped in my head: Why? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Rod Stewart’s a great guy. He’s had a fantastic career and is very well preserved for his age. But I’m eating dinner in a place with mood lighting. I thought it was kind of assumed we wouldn’t have a concert video play in the background, Rod Stewart or otherwise.
I wasn’t eating at a sports bar, where you go there to watch TV (well, obviously I wasn’t eating at a sports bar). I was eating at a place where a couple might go to have a romantic meal. Is Mr. Stewart an aphrodisiac? Is that what this was? Does his bold red blazer and slight frame set Brazilian women’s hearts a flutter, and the manager wanted to help out the men’s chances on their dates? That couldn’t possibly be it, because do you know how hard it is to carry a conversation when Rod Stewart is belting out hit after hit fifty feet away? Even with the sound turned down, it’s tough. I wanted to talk to my friends, but Rod’s stage presence kept drawing me in. I could only imagine the difficulty of a guy on a date. Sure, he might be with a gorgeous brunette, but that blonde stunner on screen has got the goods.
To add to the weirdness of the whole situation, they played the video between performances from a live musical duo who played traditional Brazilian music. The restaurant went from acoustic guitar songs sung in Portuguese to Rod Stewart. The duo returned after a while and continued playing their gentle tunes as we had dessert, but by then, it didn’t feel right eating without Rod Stewart staring down at me. He had become a part of our group.
I can only hope the next country I visit has an equal reverence for soft rock vocalists. Fingers crossed for Barry Manilow.